Israeli environmentalists are urging Jews Worldwide, a popular rock band, to light one less candle on their Menorahs this year to protect the planet.
Oops - let's start over.
Israeli environmentalists are urging Jews worldwide to leave one candle unlit this Hanukkah to protect the environment. One of the movement's proponents, Tom Wegner of Update Marketing Media, feels that this is much, much more than a futile, futile gesture:
"To tell a child on the eighth day that we are not lighting the last candle as a sacrifice for the environment is an act that is not only educational but also will prevent the release of a huge amount of carbon dioxide that would hurt the environment."
In other news: telling children things helps the environment! All this time I've been scowling and yelling at them, but this "telling". . . yes, he's on to something!
But before I get too sarcastic, I present a slew of articles proving that cutting candle usage by 14% is actually a great idea - much, much better than the planet-pillaging mess of seven candles. The Jewishly-minded among you should take note:
The New Scientist - Candles Are Poisoning Your Household and Stupiding Your Children
Xiaodong - Candles Blamed For Earth Pollution
University of Floria News - SPECIAL ALL CAPS EDITION: KILLER CANDLES
So poison your family to death 14% slower by eliminating one candle this year.
The EPA has confirmed that Jews, Druids, the Amish and other
candle users are at risk of contracting "candle face". Stop candle face
today! For more information call 1-800-SAD-WICK