Thursday, December 04, 2008

Folk Songs Turned Into Awesome Movie Trailers (Rewrite)

This is a rewrite of a proposed movie trailer I did about a year ago. You should really hear me say it aloud for the full effect, but it's still worth reading:

Onscreen: "The following PREVIEW has been approved for ALL AUDIENCES by the Motion Picture Association of America."

A group of FORENSIC DETECTIVES is sitting in a large board room, going over unseen grisly photographs. The camera pans over the room, to the grim face of DR. WOLVERTON, the program head (Morgan Freeman if we can get him).

WOLVERTON: "Team, we are tracking a dangerous killer. Every time he takes a life, he adopts the surname of his victim. First his name was "John Jacob". Then he killed Doctor Alfsheim Jingleheimer. "


WOLVERTON: "Dr. Schmidt, I'm putting you in charge of this investigation. We need to stop our friend before his name has a chance to grow any longer."



NIGHT - INSPECTOR SCHMIDT is working at his drawing room computer, beads of sweat dotting his brow as he feverishly searches through documents, images, databases. A beat. The music rises as sudden comprehension dawns on his face. The music and breath sound effects rise to a crescendo, and, as the camera draws nearer and nearer to the man's face, come to an abrupt halt:

INSPECTOR SCHMIDT (WHISPER): ". . . his name is my name too."

A window breaks downstairs. SCHMIDT looks up quickly. What follows is a random sequence of inexplicable violent images, the type usually seen in movie trailers: A figure swings a sledgehammer at somebody who ducks as the wall is torn apart behind him. Someone jumps off of a roof. A fire hydrant explodes. DR.
WOLVERTON looks up from his desk and yells "Who's there!?", nervously picking up a pistol. A prison door creaks open, and an inmate within shields his eyes from the light and yells "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME!?!"


Finally, everything fades to black. Spooky children's voices sing quietly to screeching sound effects:

CHILDREN: ". . . whenever he goes out, the people always shout. . ."

YOUNG GIRL (whispering): ". . . there goes John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt. . . ."

Through each beat of the pre-chorus ("LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!!!" ) a letter drops into place until the screen reads "July 2009" in blood-red letters.


I have some friends in the university film program who claim that they would like to help me make this trailer. I haven't yet taken them up on their offer (mainly because I'm sure they were sincere when they offered to help but won't actually be so enthusiastic when the time comes, but also because I'm sure I can't match the awesome image in my head and I'd rather leave it the way it is. We'll see, I guess.

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