Wednesday, February 04, 2009


Gotta love those 7-Eleven clerks. The one in my neighborhood is, in all honesty, named Raj and greets customers with a "Thank you, come again!" No trace of irony.

But 7-Eleven is an equal-stereotype employer, so it's heartwarming to learn that clerks from two of the chain's locations in Colorado Springs were able to identify the weapon an unidentified man used to rob their registers - a Klingon Bat'leth, no doubt stolen from a dead nerd.*

Now, I'm sure I wouldn't know a Bat'leth when I saw one, confusing it with its diminutive twin the Mek'leth, also very Klingon. Unfortunately, the report states that the weapon itself was smaller than a Bat'leth, meaning that it might be the other after all. If I'm more right than these guys on Klingon trivia I might just have to jump off of a bridge.

I myself know very little Klingon - just enough to avoid embarrassing myself in public, by inadvertently insulting a nearby Klingon's mother while clearing my throat (this has also happened in Germany). In Klingontown I am often forced to order a sandwich by speaking English in a very masculine manner to nearby vendors while furrowing my brow. They understand alright ("NO GAKH WORM," I say very clearly for comprehension. "NO GAKH BLOOD. IF I TASTE GAKH BLOOD I WILL SHED YOURS. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?").

Anyway - kudos for these geeky clerks for behaving cooly at Bat'lethpoint.

(The word used in this post's title apparently means "SPOON!!!" in that most venerable of sci-fi languages, a dictionary of which I found online. I have no idea what the capital 'Q' is all about.)

* Of course, Star Trek is hardly obscure enough to qualify as truly nerdy; I mock its fans merely out of habit.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Thanks for commenting - I reserve the right only to delete ads, nonsensical spam or comments indistinguishable from such.

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.