Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Santa Claus is the Devil: A long, exhaustive proof from some kooky evangelists

Wacky evangelical organization Dial-the-Truth Ministries, who wrote pages and pages of giant, gaudy text attacking every rock group under the sun for Satanic influences and use images like

to promote their site, have one masterpiece to their credit: an exhaustive, scripture-twisting proof of Father Christmas' double life as the Father of Lies himself.

Witness the following concrete points from the article, and weep:

- The serpent who tempted Eve spoke with kind, beguiling tones, and Santa is also quite jolly!

- "The devil’s trademark 'ho, ho, ho' was carried over from the early medieval Miracle Plays to the popular old English play "Bomelio"[!]

- An internet Google search on "Satan Claus" (not Santa Claus – but SATAN Claus) found over 1,700 hits! Obviously, there are many that tie the two together. [And I found 16,600 hits on Google for the phrase "killer kitten," proving that kitties are ferocious.]

- Christ himself helps us out!:

"John 10:1 Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that entereth not by the door into the sheepfold, but climbeth up some other way [say a chimney?], the same is a thief and a robber. . ."

I could go on. Santa, the article states, is obviously impersonating Christ himself with his red raiment and white, flowing hair, tendency to build things (the Carpenter!), Northern lodging, wearing of a holly crown and airborne flight. Elves, the article notes, are also called trolls and analogous to Satan's fallen minions! Children love him and believe on him, rather than our Lord himself!

So Santa's perceived similarities to the Devil speak of their close affiliation, while his perceived similarities with Christ are filthy lies. Makes perfect sense to me! I'm glad this type of Potter-bashing, Santa-lynching nonsense isn't as prevalent where I live. Lord have pity on the poor kids raised with Froot Loops for parents.

Santa Claus: The Great Impostor (From the great minds at Dial-the-Truth Ministries and 72-Point Text Factory, though this article is mercifully free of giant, bold, crimson text.

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