Monday, February 11, 2008

Sit-Down Comedy:

I don't have a laptop. What I do have is one of those Game Boys that opens up like a laptop.

This is much better. It meets my needs, as long as I don't have to check e-mail, type any documents or "compile" anything. What it does do is place an effective barrier between myself and the rest of the cruel world, provided that I'm willing to relax my usual posture standards.

The best electronics facilitate your withdrawal from the world, and anything can be popular as long as it follows this simple formula:

1) Headphones.
2) A tiny screen that forces you to stick your face right in it, magnifying glass-style.

"The new Nokia X0943. Stare straight forward and avoid all of that tedious chumming about that would occur WITHOUT a Nokia X0943."


You know that expression "I'll see you in Hell"? When you really think about it, doesn't that sound like just about the most callous, shortsighted thing you could ever say to a person?

"Hey - you're going to Hell! Just an observation. But so am I! We might not like each other right now, but I'm sure after a few millennia of highly-structured torment we'll develop QUITE A RAPPORT!"

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