Tom Cruise: Scientologist

I've been transcribing the Tom Cruise Scientology Video on Gawker this afternoon for posterity. It's scary, funny and very, very strange. I don't know who this video was originally intended for, or who edited it. It seems plain that they've included only the most incoherent bits. Watch the video and/or read the transcript below. The law-savvy Church of Scientology is trying to get the video taken down - soon it may be available only through alternate sources. The movie gets more incoherent after the end of my transcript, so I think I got the most important parts down:

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"I think it's a privilege to call yourself a Scientologist, and it's something that you have to earn, and. . . because a Scientologist does. He - or she - has the ability to. . . create new and better realities and improve conditions. Uh. . . being Scientologist you look at someone and you know absolutely that you can help them.

[Cut]

So, for me it really is KSW [Keep Scientology Working], and it's just like. . . it's. . . it's something that, uh. . . I don't mince words with that. . . y'know - with - with anything, [garbled name] does but that policy in me has really gone PTH! . . . boy aradalala. . . I - just the time I went through and I said 'y'know what'? When I read it, I - y'know - I just went 'PFW! - this is it. This is exactly it.

[Cut]

Being a Scientologist, when you drive past an accident, it's not like anyone else. As you drive past, you know you have to do something about it, because. . . you know you're the only one that can really help.

[Cut]

That's . . . that's what drives me, is that. . . I know that we have an opportunity, and, uh. . . to really help the first time, and effectively change people's lives, and, uh. . . I am dedicated to that, and I'm gonna, I'm. . . absolutely, uncomprisingly. . . dedicated to that.

[Cut]

The Orgs [Scientology organizations] are there to help, okay? - but, we as. . . y'know, as. . . elsewhere, the public, it's like. . . we have a responsibility; it's not just the Orgs, it's not just Dave Miscavige [Google him]. . . y'know, it's not just - not just me, it's you, it's everyone out there kinda [hiss] re-reading KSW and looking at what needs to be done and saying 'okay, am I gonna do it or am I not gonna do it?' Period! Am I gonna look at that guy or am I too afraid because I have my own [illegible] ethics, to put in someone else's ethics - and that's all it comes down to.

[Cut]

[mumbled frighteningly] Cause I won't hesitate to put ethics in on someone else, y'know, cause I put it. . . ruthlessly in on myself, and I think that. . . uh. . . . . I respect that. . . in - in others, and, uh y'know, I'm there to help, and we're here to help, and my opinion is is that - look - you're either on board, or you're not on board. Okay? But, just - if you're on board, you're on board, just like the rest of us. Period.

[Cut]

We are the authorities on getting people off drugs, we are the authorities on the mind, we are the authorities on improving conditions. Criminon [controversial Scientology-based program of criminal rehabilitation] - we can rehabilitate criminals. . . way to happiness, we can bring peace, uh. . . and. . . and unite cultures, uh. . . that. . . once you know these tools, and you know that they work, it's. . . it's not good enough that, that I'm just doing okay.

[Cut]

Traveling the world and meeting the people that I've, that I've met - y'know, talking with these leaders, in dif- various fields. . . . . . they want help, and they are depending on people who. . . know, and who can be effective, and do it, and that's us. That is our responsibility to do that.

[Cut]

It is the time, now - now is the time, okay? It is. . . being a Scientologist, people are turning to you, so you'd better know it. You better know it. And if you don't. . . y'know, go and learn it [laugh], y'know? But don't pretend you know it and. . . or. . . foo, y'know - whatever - it's like we're here to help."

[Cut]

I mean, if you're a Scientologist, you see life, but you see things the way they are. . . in all its glory, y'know? All of its complexity, uh. . . and the more you know as a Scientologist, you don't become overwhelmed by it.

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The video gets scarier and more generic and pointless at this point. The blurb at the end seems to imply that this may be an official Scientology video, but I'm hoping for their sake that it's not. It looks like parody.

If the video is an official Scientology tape it makes one of their most influential members look ridiculous. If it isn't then they have no claim on a copyright case. I think the latter course of action would be wiser.