Thursday, November 15, 2007

Teletubby Plot Conspiracies

Elmo Saves Christmas isn't the only children's television series with potential for discussion. What about the strange world the Teletubbies infest? Great topic for discussion with friends!

Of course, this was all prompted by Teletubbyland Apocalypse, a long-held joke of mine.

Possible Teletubby explanations:

  • The Teletubbies are the relics of an ancient alien race (the constructors of the metal control dome, now grassed-over), whose goal was to colonize the Earth. Following this theory, they may be actual members of this race who, despite their vast intellectual handicaps, found themselves immune to the strains of terrible geoviruses that caused the rest of the colonizers to flee and, eventually, die alone in space. Alternatively, they may be a genetic creation or animal species of this race implanted with torst-mounted monitoring devices and sent to survey the planet before the actual invasion (intended for the season finale).
  • The Teletubbies live in a horrific dystopian future wherein the most significant population of humanity has been eliminated by their own weapons, bio and nuclear. The Tubby dome and so-called "baby sun" have been set up as sentries by some intelligence to be sure that such an occurrence never happens again. (This is backed by evidence from the first season; on two separate occurrences large rockets can be seen slowly rising in the background.) They are nourished and protected by their guardian, often seen (mistakenly) as a large blue vacuum. It is, of course, an ancient member of the forerunner civilization.
Do I think that I could get away with this on the Teletubby Wikipedia article? I think they check that one a little more often than "Elmo Saves Christmas".

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