Monday, November 17, 2008

What are the cereal mascots saying?

"It's a symphony of SUGAR!"

I think it's odd that the "Trix Rabbit" is identified by name by the product that society keeps from his perpetual grasp. Using this frustrated guy is like having Rosa Parks advertise the front of the bus.

And for the benefit of those I've argued with, Trix did ship in fruity shapes when I was a kid. I guess they didn't have room to write "New Boring Shape!" on this box.

"Cocoa Puffs: It's Like Smack in Your Veins(TM)!"

This is easily one of the most intense mascots I've ever seen. He's usually skateboarding on a chocolate ramp near a chocolate volcano spewing chocolate waves of magma over a chocolate landscape, taking bites of a chocolate cereal during a particularly-intense 900 under a chocolate sky.

"What have I told you kids about hanging out with that junkie bird?!"

This guy is probably the more well-adjusted of the bunch, despite the fact that he's always bashing through walls, leaving his tigerlicious outline in the now-weakened concrete.

Just once I'd like to see him go "They're not just good, they're GrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRAAAAAGHHHH" and go on a feral rampage. That would be some fine television.

That's all. This won't be a regular feature.


  1. that's too bad it won't be a regular feature - it was hilarious!

  2. And not only did they come in fruity shapes when you were a kid, they came in boring round shapes before then, too! In my teenage years, that's what I argued with my peers. Frankly, I think the return to the ball shapes is a positive step.


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