America's 'Lost Monarchy': The Man Who Would Be King

Had our first president supported the popular idea of a coup and taken on the monarchy lo those many years ago, we face the fascinating prospect of a lineage-based American monarchy today. The theoretical rightful heir of which, according to genealogy heavyweight Ancestry.com and Newsweek, is Paul Emery Washington, an unassuming Texas retiree who holds more than a minor blood bond to Mr. Washington himself.

Direct relation or not, Mr. Washington, I would thank my lucky stars that history worked out the way it did. I certainly don't begrudge you this neat little tidbit of personal trivia (a wonderful icebreaker at parties to be sure were you not an octogenarian), had history worked out differently, Mr. Washington, inviolable chaos theory suggests that you wouldn't exist at all, much less as the duly reigning monarch of the United Kingdom of America.

A sovereign, sobering thought to be sure.